You know you’re doing something new and epic when you start asking yourself some life-changing questions that you haven’t even thought about before. That’s what I’m currently experiencing after quitting alcohol, and I wanted to share them with you.
In the past, I’ve shared some existential questions, things I’ve realized about life, truths about life we remain blind for, things I believe in.
And now, here are some in a totally new direction.
Maybe this will resonate if you too are on a journey to living a sober life, or if you’ve stopped drinking already and have entered your most powerful chapter.
Let’s dive in.
Questions I Asked Myself After Quitting Alcohol
1. Who am I without drinking?
Was being more social and confident just a result of that? Can I be that without drinking?
Starting with 3 questions in one.
See, I associated a few drinks with becoming my most confident and social self. Something that doesn’t always come easily in daily life.
Even knowing that I’m meeting a friend or a group of people outside for drinks gave me confidence and I went with a whole different energy. It felt like I was often the most confident person on the table, or in the group, or even in the whole bar.
But that was so ego-driven and totally out of alignment with who I really am and – most importantly – who I want to become.
So, now what?
Will I avoid parties, bigger social events and bars from now on? Or will I still go, without any alcohol (and fear of missing out), and still find a way to be confident?
The latter is my goal.
2. What will trigger me?
I will never numb my feelings again. Now what? What comes up next for me?
What do I need to heal? What tools do I need to process my feelings and manage my emotions?
This is already happening, and it did even in the first weeks of being alcohol-free. I absolutely love it because I live and breathe personal growth and am at a stage in my life where I’d love to speed it up.
I’m welcoming more limiting beliefs and underlying issues and traumas to come to the surface, so I can feel all emotions I have around them, educate myself more on the topics, and then do something about it.
My healing is my responsibility, and it’s sort of a full-time job if you’re really into it. I know many of you get this and feel the same way.
There’s always so much to analyze and understand about yourself, so many emotions to process, so many books to read and things to learn about your internal world, so many practices you can try and mental shifts to make and habits to build. All in the name of being your true self and enjoying your life, forgiving others and yourself, healing your past, and getting closer to your dream life.
Once I stopped drinking, all this started happening faster and sooner for me. Which also meant many uncomfortable emotions.
In the meantime, life itself is also happening. I have to deal with family issues, maintaining relationships, nourishing the one with my partner. Also life transitions are happening such as moving in with him and learning how to co-exist.
Challenging times, and that’s why I really had to be ready to quit drinking so I can fully embrace all the obstacles and life lessons the Universe is sending me.
3. Why didn’t I stop drinking sooner?
That’s an interesting question to think about too. Why was I so attached to it and the version of me that was drinking?
I know I wasn’t ready to let go of it and the comfort it was giving me. I wasn’t ready to face the truly conscious life, with all its uncomfortable emotions, annoying people, triggering situations, etc.
Now, Im here for it.
4. How will others react to that?
Will they judge, be surprised, ask too many questions, or be triggered because they wish they could stop too?
That’s very interesting to find out, but it will happen over time.
I haven’t even told many of my friends yet, by the way. And that’s another reason why this whole process was easier.
I don’t want other people’s opinions before this is final, before I identify myself as a sober person, before I don’t miss alcohol or anything it was giving me.
I also picked the right moment for it – the beginning of the year.
In this post, I explained exactly how that went.
In a nutshell, the last time I had drinks was on December 27th (2024). I then celebrated New Years Eve with 2 other couples at home. I didn’t need to drink.
After that, January was easy as so many people don’t drink or get together then (after the holidays).
February was a quiet month too. I avoided drinking for my birthday.
Then we traveled with my partner in March and that’s the first time I realized this is the real deal. If I’m not drinking while traveling and in bars and on romantic dinners, and if it makes me feels so good and empowered, then this new lifestyle is here to stay.
But soon it’s time to get together with others. Then friends will find out and wonder why.
Then it’s time to visit family in my home country, or be invited to a birthday. There’s a wedding later this year, more traveling, more meetings with friends. The summer is just around the corner and everyone here (in the Netherlands) is having a beer or glass of wine on a sunny day in a cafe outside.
I will see different reactions from people. I’m preparing mentally not to make them mean anything and not to start explaining myself (this way I give my power away), but to just stay calm and stick to what I know is right for me.
5. Which of my goals, desires and qualities remain now that I don’t drink?
I have a feeling that many of our goals, desires and even qualities are ego-driven and don’t come from the heart. They are based on what others want for us, what looks good in the eyes of society, comparing, proving something to others, etc.
When you take one socially acceptable habit away, such as drinking, some of these goals you set or things you deeply wanted might actually disappear.
That will be another obstacle you face.
Will you listen to your inner guidance and change direction? It might mean changing jobs, leaving a relationship, changing your living situation, making different financial decisions, etc.
And others will have strong opinions about it. They might try to talk you out of it.
It’s up to you whether you’d listen to your intuition and focus on the right things, or stay where you are, seeking approval, validation, comfort and familiarity.
I’m excited to see what the sober version of me is meant for.
6. What can I do with this newly found confidence, self-trust and willpower?
I have more of these now, but in a different way. So that brings another question. How will I use these resources?
I’d like to use them to improve my relationships, not give my power away and not let others bring me down, stick to what I believe in, grow my business, make more money, buy a home, start a family, be the best partner I can be, and so much more.
7. How can I inspire others who want to quit drinking?
I have so many ideas. I’ve always been all about sharing your journey. I can inspire others and turn into a business. That’s how my blogging career began, after all.
Now, I have more to share about a new aspect of life – sober living. So much to read about it, analyze, experience and then share. And I can do it in many different ways.
For a start, I’m writing about it and posting it on the blog, as well as sharing it with my email list.
The second thing is that I started talking about it on socials – with short-form video content on TikTok. Not much is happening for me there yet but I began the discussion and people can find me through that topic now, so that’s important.
I’m already dreaming bigger, of course, but I always do that when something new and exciting is happening and I see progress with it.
For example, a book is already forming in my mind and I want to share my sober journey in it as well as be more vulnerable than ever about my past. But who knows if that will happen.
Books aren’t the most effective way to reach more people and impact them these days. I can write the book, but that doesn’t mean many people will read it.
There’s more potential on socials.
This is your reminder to keep creating content on the topics you’re deeply passionate about and which can change people’s lives.
8. If I can do this cold turkey, what else is possible for me?
What bad habits can I actually stop right now, without overthinking or re-arranging my whole life?
That’s such an empowering thought.
Many other times when I stopped drinking and considerer quitting forever, I simply assumed I won’t be able to do it. I was also afraid of what’s on the other side and if I can handle it. I wasn’t ready to live what I assumed would be a more boring life.
Now, this is the evidence I have that I can quit other bad habits (or mental patterns).
This has a ripple effect. Make one good change, and use this to find the willpower to improve more aspects of your life.
9. What is possible for me a year from now?
Now that I am so focused on my goals, getting more done daily and feeling good about myself (thanks to being sober and empowered), what will life look like in a year?
How does my vision change and how can I dream bigger?
My vision is to become the best version of myself, take my business to the next level, be more financially independent, more healed and grateful, less triggered, more at peace, and in control of my time and freedom.
10. How can I prepare for situations that involve alcohol?
And more specifically, where people will expect me to drink.
I like thinking about that and mentally preparing in advance.
Do I not make a big deal of it and not mention it until they ask? Do I let them know in advance? Do I skip some events?
Let’s see what works best.
11. What activities do I not want to do at all now that drinking is out of the question?
Will I never go to a party or festival again? Will I avoid bars? Will I skip the after party of a wedding? Will I not stay up late on NYE, my birthday, etc.?
Will I be more of a day person instead of an evening one? Will I only arrange daily meetings with friends?
Let’s see what the future brings.
12. Who do I have less in common with now that I won’t drink with them?
Another brutal question to answer for myself. If this resonates, you probably already thought of at least one person who falls into that category.
This makes me wonder: was alcohol and bad habits the only thing we had in common with some people?
The answer is often yes, and it might be time to end a relationship.
The good news is that it might happen naturally over time. Assuming this is why the bond was formed, it wasn’t deep, and the other person will quickly lose interest in spending time with you now that you don’t share the same habits and passions anymore.
What’s more, they will be triggered by you and your healthier and more conscious lifestyle, because deep down they know they should do the same but aren’t ready and might never have the courage to do so.
13. What other bad habits and beliefs were actually connected to drinking?
What comes to mind is smoking, sleeping in, late nights, lack of motivation, lack of focus for business, less time for personal growth.
These are disappearing now (or were gone the moment I stopped drinking, like is the case with cigarettes).
So I’m curious to find out what else was related to it and will be stopped.
What about you?
Are you living without alcohol too, or do you plan to stop drinking this year or just to limit your alcohol consumption?
Which of these questions do you ask yourself too? What other ones pop in your mind and how do you feel about all that?
You can always send me an email at lidiya [at] letsreachsuccess.com to talk about quitting alcohol and everything that comes with it.
