By Drew Dietsch
| Published
I haven’t found a ton of worthwhile takeaways from the Jurassic World movies. While I’ll still go to bat for Jurassic Park III (read my defense here), that was the last sequel in the franchise that captured my attention and seemed to be a solid B-movie effort. But, by the time these Jurassic World movies got around to bringing back the core trio from the original film, I had lost interest entirely.
However, Jurassic World: Rebirth seemed like it could have some of that Jurassic Park III goodness thanks to director Gareth Edwards (Monsters, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story) and a plot that seems primed for madcap mutant dinosaur goodness.
But oh no, Jurassic World: Rebirth fooled me into its trap and I’m here to report it’s even worse than I could have imagined.
Mismatched Plots and Cardboard Characters
There are essentially two plots in Jurassic World: Rebirth — an A plot involving a team of experts trying to get dino blood samples, and a B plot involving a family on vacation — and they feel completely in the wrong power positions for the story. The A plot with Scarlett Johansson is undercooked and milquetoast in the extreme, while the potential of the B plot is where the movie’s emotional strengths could flourish. If the movie could flip those two stories, it might have had a decent chance.
Though, I can’t see how Jurassic World: Rebirth could make anything out of this ensemble of cardboard cut-outs trying to convince us they are characters. Everyone is given the most boilerplate character stories with no opportunity to color anywhere outside the lines. It’s the most plastic action figure group of characters in the franchise’s entire history. Considering the vapidity of these Jurassic World movies, that is a shameful achievement on its own.
Running on Fumes
I was definitely hoping for some rudimentary action figure fun with Gareth Edwards at the helm. What’s shocking is that Edwards is clearly a devotee of Spielberg but doesn’t channel the cinematic flair and energy of such a filmmaker. This could’ve been directed by one of those MCU directors that simply locks into the “house style” of the brand. There’s not nearly enough flair or individuality in the style. The few times it peaks through — an underwater shot of a capsized ship next to a mosasaur is the only major standout — it’s a reminder of how uninspired the majority of the movie looks.
Jurassic World: Rebirth didn’t need to be a triumph, it just needed to hit the right wavelength, but this is a movie that never feels on beat with what it seems to be attempting. In addition, it’s also recycling so many familiar beats from the series without anything new to add to the melody. And when it bookends its new big baddie after a fun enough cold open, it’s a stark realization of how little this movie did to earn any of its attempted goals.
There is no question that Jurassic World: Rebirth signals a depressingly formulaic future for the franchise. There is little left being brought to the table that seems even remotely fresh. Calling this Rebirth is extremely wrongheaded as this feels more like Jurassic World: Reheated Leftovers. The series is barely getting by on fumes. In a series with a reputation for having subpar sequels, there’s an argument to be made that Jurassic World: Rebirth is the worst of them all.
JURASSIC WORLD: REBIRTH REVIEW SCORE
